SATURDAY, Chris Rock held its first major stand-up special since that Oscar slap that shocked the world. He saved it for last, and he didn’t disappoint: not only had the comedian not forgiven and forgotten, but he was still fuming. Rocks end of scorched earthin which he set Will and Jada Pinkett Smith on fire, eclipsed the roughly 50 minutes leading up to it, which may be why people weren’t talking about one of his more startling reveals.
At one point during Rock’s hour-long set, he talked about his daughters, Lola and Zahra, who he described as “rich kids.” “My kids ski, they ride horses,” he said. “They are closing. I fencing with little black girls.
However, Rock doesn’t want them growing up to be spoiled, and to show how committed he is to that, he told a story about a time when Lola got into trouble in high school at a private school. . During a class trip to Portugal, Lola and four other students slipped away to go drink. They were caught. Not that they ever got into real trouble.
“These crazy white schools have rich white parents and rich white parents don’t let their kids get kicked out of school,” Rock explained. “So all the parents, they all had lawyers, even those who were lawyers had lawyers. Good lawyers.
Although Rock’s ex-wife insisted that they keep Lola in school, he decided otherwise. He secretly went to the school and asked the dean for a favor.
“I need you to expel my daughter from this school,” he recalled saying. “I need you to kick her out of the black ass of this school. I need my black kid to learn her lesson right now before she’s on OnlyFans and some shit. Please kick my child out of the fucking school.
And they did (along with the other girls, surprisingly).
The happy ending? Lola seems to have learned the lesson and applied. She is now at culinary school in Paris and is doing very well. His dad, meanwhile, just had perhaps the most eye-catching stand-up special of his long career.